Posted: 2014-12-30 20:59:36
This is a really complicated question, and one which I believe has no definitive answer. Having said that, I am a believer in the good in everyone, and that with enough goodwill from both sides, as well as complete honesty, it certainly can work.
In my humble opinion, there are a few stumbling blocks which must be addressed :
1.) The truth : there is a saying : how intricate the web we weave, when at first we do deceive. The truth and complete honesty must be there right from Day 1. If you started the relationship based on a lie, it will without doubt fail.
2.) Family : Family is the one thing that you get, friends you can choose. Family is in most cases the lasting footprint in your life, so you need to figure out how to introduce your WG to your family. The first questions that always come up in conversation are : Where did you two meet ? How long have you been dating? Normal questions that if not answered correctly, can lead to a barrage of further more difficult questions.
3.) Friends : These are probably the most difficult, as you are sharing your life with them. The same questions as above, but they will know more about your day to day activities, so you have to prepare so much better.
And in that preparation of Points 2 and 3 : what are you going to tell everyone? Are you going to go with the truth, or with the : what you dont know about, will not bother you . There is still a stigma attached to the netherworld that we frequent, which will never change. If the WG can successfully break away clean from this industry, find a normal job, and not having her face pics all over the internet, then you stand a good chance of never encountering someone that knew about her past. The opposite is where the problem lies, if she is recognised, then the questions will come pouring.
4.) Job : what will she be doing after you get married ? Will she continue to work, or will she try and find a normal job. As it is, job opportunities are few and far between, and it is "easy money" to do a booking or two per day to keep the cash coming in. Remeber that WG's earn relatively good cash income, so to be without that source of income is not that easy.
5.) The financial strenght of the guy : This is pertty much in the same direction as Point 4 . If you are not an above average earner, then I believe the relationship will flounder. There is a saying, when hard times come through the front door, then love runs out the back door. (this is true for all relationshiops, not just in this instance).
There are many other pitfalls, but I believe that there can be successful unions between WG's and punters. It is probably more of a challenge, so make sure that this is exactly what you want.
Often it is not a concious choice who we fall in love with, but just happens. A relationship is born out of mutual and diverse shared experiences, so the warm fuzzy feeling that you have when you leave the WG's abode, is not love, nor a relationship. A marriage is much more than that.
Make sure that the relationship is build on solid ground, for it will need all of the strenght that you might need to succeed.
There is a reason why SA's divorce ratio is now more that 50%. It is not easy.