I think I'll weigh in here. I am black, but not South African. I spend a lot of time in South Africa on business, which is why I spend a lot of time on this site. I was educated in England, and speak with what some might call a "posh" accent. I am a professional, well-groomed and urbane. A little young (if you consider 30 young).

I am polite. I do not ever negotiate the rate. I like light conversation over the phone. I always ask if the girl would appreciate some flowers, champagne or chocolate. When I want a girl to travel, it is only to a high-end hotel in Sandton, and I offer to pay for all costs. I sometimes ask girls to escort me to places like Harare where I find it difficult to pick up women, all costs being mine. As a standard disclaimer, I generally say at the end, "I should point out that I am black, and in South Africa this can be a problem." Almost everyone is surprised.

Then there is usually one of three reactions. First, some (generally most blacks, many coloureds, and fewer white and asian girls) will say "Not a problem, looking forward to it." Second, (generally the white, coloured and asian girls) will say, "Ummm, okay, you sound different. But please don't post comments on ESA afterwards, as some of my regulars would not like that I did a black guy". Third, (almost exclusive white and asian, with two exceptions) "I don't do black guys" and dialling tone.

If I exclude the black girls who said no (or they look black to me: your colour classifications are complex), only about 20% of the white and asian girls fell into the first category, and another 10% in the second category. That leaves 70% of white and asian girls who would not, but only after discovering my race. On three occasions I actually chose not to say anything, got addresses and all, and showed up and was turned away. One girl (got her contacts from ST) actually had the gall to demand the cash, without the sex, for "fooling her" into thinking I was white.

This sort of thing generally only happens to me in South Africa. I travel to 15 countries a year on average; 40 weeks on the road.

I'm not sensitive about race, and I actually feel sorry for the perpetrators, not myself, so I agree the OP is a bit whiny. As elextrolux says, up your game and make yourself more marketable.

But to the people who say there is no racism at all, that's a lie. I don't like Russians in general, but I have made exceptions. I don't like Afrikaners much (too gruff), but I have made exceptions. I don't like Chinese much, but I have made exceptions. We're all prejudiced, but racism is when you cannot see past your prejudices in all circumstances.

I like that last paragraph. Yes we've all. got our prejudices and preferences- 2 very different things yet sometimes one and the same.

uncle Ben @jackharrison's last paragraph...
*side note* when I grow up I want to marry @ghostwrita

I've had my eye on your profile for the longest time, Naledi :), so perhaps those nuptials will work. My first wife would likely happily pass me along lol.

Pretoria is just a very, very long way for me and I don't know my way around.

This conversation interests me. I truly believe this racism in this industry propagates from the SA escort market dynamics.

Let me elaborate using observations of the UK escort industry. In the 90s, the WGs were predominately British and in short supply. Thus it was not uncommon to see "not multi-racial" and "Caucasians only". Not only that, the prices were inflated and the service was sub-standard. Then in the mid 90s, the immigration laws were relaxed and there was an influx of foreign escorts (predominately Thai, East European and South American WGs). These WGs showed up the British WGs in all the facets they took for granted and ate up their business. The consequence was that British WGs suddenly became "sexually attracted" to all races, upped their service and reduced their rates to compete. The smart WGs adapted, and the rest (stupid) ones left. In that market today, the punters are the dominant force and WGs bend over backwards to retain decent punters.

The SA industry is the UK of the early 90s. The WGs hold the power in this industry. There is a short supply of WGs who can pick and chose who they want to serve. They make their desired amount of money by seeing only White & Indian punters but neglect the African clientele. And it's not just the race card, there are WGs here who should have been out of business due to their horrible service. Overweight WGs. Overpriced WGs. Scamming WGs. Yet they all exist and we (the punters) are willing to take it and go back to them again and again. I do not see this changing in the near future unless by some miracle we get an influx of Brazilian & Polish WGs that will change the dynamics.

On a last note: to my African punting brothers - please understand that these "non multiracial" WGs are not the sharpest tools in the box. They have been conditioned pre-1994. And they are not smart enough to challenge their ignorant mindset, it's like asking a kindergarten kid to do calculus - they are that stupid. And you hear it when they say "I am not racist, I just don't find black men sexually attractive". Well sweetheart, if you don't provide a service to a person only because of his race, you are a racist.

So if you are a successful affluent black professional, do not degrade yourself to these WGs. There are smart WGs (of various races) out there who give great service. Find them and treat them like queens, and they will cater for your every need and you feel your money was well spent.

Ben Layden, I didn’t “deign” to reply (odd word to use, that) because we seemed to be in broad agreement and you didn’t ask me any direct questions. However, maybe it’s now worth pointing out that your remark about “skimmers” and “level-headed responses” has been somewhat undermined by the very interesting and detailed posts that have appeared subsequently.

As to your later question about “Asians” in the UK, it depends who you mean. Indians, on the whole, are pretty well regarded, as are, say, Chinese. The 30,000 Filipina nurses in the National Health Service are, it seems, very popular. (I don’t spend much time in the UK so these are just my impressions.) But “Asians” is far too broad a description to answer. The British tend to classify their extremely varied immigrant population by nationality and/or culture, not by continent or race.

Overall, the country is remarkably accommodating. For instance, native-born white British are now in a minority in their capital city. I cannot think of any other country that can come even close to such a statistic. (The are so many French people in London that it is now France’s sixth largest city, so to speak.) Last year, 20,000 native Polish women (a recent influx) gave birth in England. I also read that Britain has the highest rate of ‘mixed marriages’ - albeit a vague expression - in the world.

In short, if you are trying to compare the UK and SA, don’t. In terms of racial prejudice - though, of course, it exists - we are barely on the same planet.

In the spirit of Ubuntu, how I wish from the bottom of my heart that South Africa as a nation will eventually break the shackles of prejudice and racism. I for one believe we can and will.

I think electrolux has a good point. If you cant get a girlfriend outside your race, its not racism. '' ITS YOU '' . Enough of this ''south africa is racist crap ''. Last time i checked, it was confidence, and personality, that attracted women. If a man wants something in life, he has chase after it, and never give up.

i have a friend who is colored, and his girlfriend is white.He doesn't sit in a corner and blame racism. He chases after the white girls, and the girls like him, because of his confidence and personality

Most WG here do darkies as long as u sound nyc and friendly,in fact they see it as an experience across d devide if they r white. don't go asking her on phone if she does darkie, d answer wl b a big no and don't expect any wht WG to admit to doing Darky on dis forum. I reserve my reason