Vital Statistics:
- Name: Misha
- Race: White
- Age guestimate: 24
- Area: Strand (easy to find, secure parking inside flat complex)
- Tel: 076 184 0879
- Advertises: GG, ESA
- Fee: R500 per hour
- Venue Type: Private Flat (Independent)
- Services: Rubdown, CBJ, DATY, FS
- Extras: did not ask.

I have visited Misha on two occasions in the past.

The first visit:
She is a friendly, chatty girl in person but her phone skills are terrible. Her photos do flatter her however, as on them you cannot see how scarred and haggard her face is. I realised immediately that she had been a junkie at some stage. She wasn’t high at the time so I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and continue with the booking. I don’t know whether she noticed my scepticism but she did tell me that she was a recovering heroin user and that she had been clean for six months.

The room and en-suite shower were nice and clean. She provided a fresh towel for my use and had a shower after I was done. Pity, some shower play would have been nice. “At least she takes care of her hygiene”, I thought.

She has a great body. Nice firm B’s with perky nipples and she is trim but not overly thin. She has a landing strip wax and shaves clean from above her clit down.

The foreplay was ok. She tells you that she can’t do a proper massage but she enjoys giving a sensual rub. She did a very nice job with lots of kisses and body-to-body action. She asked me to turn over and lay down on top of me. She doesn’t do french kissing so we kissed for a bit and then I started licking and sucking her nips, which she seemed to enjoy.

She applied the government issued love-glove and started to suck me. There was no ball play or attempt to tease and lick me at all; in fact, she didn’t touch me except with her mouth. Clearly, our education system is failing the youth of today because she had no idea what she was doing. Add her technique to the fact that I do not generally feel much from blowjobs anyway and boredom slowly set in. I occupied myself by playing with her boobs and snatch (she indicated that she would receive oral but this is only something I do on repeat visits) when I discovered that she was as dry as the Sahara. She stopped the BJ to explain that the heroin had fucked up her system so badly that she could not get any pleasure from sex anymore (hence the lack of lubrication). Well, that did wonders for my mood. Here the girl I’m having sex with says that she is basically a human masturbatory sleeve.

So, she then applied considerable quantities of lube and we started off in cowgirl. She was far from tight and didn’t exhibit any control of her pelvic floor muscles. She rode me for a bit while I played with her boobs and rubbed her clit. We transitioned to missionary but she then pulled a starfish manoeuvre and just lay there. No playing with herself, no movement against me, no sounds, nothing.

I decided not to hold myself back, finished shortly, had a quick shower and left.

Preliminary verdict after the first visit:
If all you’re looking for is a bit of relief at some ungodly hour in the morning then Misha is the girl for you.

Venue: 7 (Cleanliness - 8,
Facilities - 7,
Location - 7,
Parking - 8)
Looks: 7 (Body - 9, Face - 5)
Service: 6 (Massage - 7, Oral - 6, Sex - 6)
Total: 7 (availability adds a point)

Repeat?
Only if I am not looking for a GFE and no one else is available.

The second visit:
Sadly, and as expected, she proved to be an active heroin user. After I arrivedm she was paranoid that she had lost her stash (claimed lighter) and searched frantically for it so that she could have a “smoke” before the booking. She also slurred, could not stand up straight and could hardly open her eyes. I also noticed fresh track marks on her arm.

Now, I really should just have grabbed my shit and left immediately, but of course the little head was doing all the thinking. It was 2 am and I didn’t feel like taking the long drive home without some satisfaction. So, I decided to stay. Big mistake.

While I had my shower Misha was “using the toilet” and “having a smoke”. Thank god she warned me not to get under the duvet but to rather just get under the blanket (on top of the duvet) before she went to the other toilet in the flat. Curious as to why she would make a point of this, I naturally checked under the duvet. It seems that she shat herself in bed and didn’t bother to replace the sheets. Nice.

At this stage, I was nauseated and distinctly un-horny. I waited for her to return, knelt her on the bed, shagged her doggy (I wasn’t going anywhere near that bed) showered and left. Don’t ask me how I got it up. It was a miracle.

I think she realised that I would not be returning so she tried every trick in the book to gain sympathy from me. From “a client stole her cash” to “a friend assaulted her” to “kidney infections put her out of work for two weeks” to “a friend with an open wound slept in her bed (the same one that assaulted her I presume).”

Lesson:
I need to learn to be less thoughtful and just walk out when a booking is going south.

Final verdict: 1 / 10 (she gets one point for being female and willing to fuck me).

Would I repeat? Hell no.