Three bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their
faces.

Along with them comes a police inspector to find out how they died.

'First body: French man, 60. Died of heart failure while making love to
his Mistress. Hence, the enormous smile, Inspector,' says the Coroner.
'Second body: Scots man, 25. Won a thousand pounds on the lottery.
Spent It all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning. Hence the smile.'

The Inspector asks, 'What of the third body?'

'Ah,' says the Coroner, 'this is the most unusual one.

Sipho, a street sweeper from Soweto , 30. Struck by lightning.'

'Why is he smiling then?' inquires the Inspector.

Thought he was having his picture taken.

Could , with equal justice , be applied to Mr. Patel of Lenasia ,
... or Messers Batton , Barton , Durstein and Osborne in Sandton.

Bennie, fuck you!
Lisa, fuck U2 :)))

A boy comes home from school at 7pm, His dad says 'Where were you?'

'I was with Jessica.' He replied.

'What were you doing?'

'We were studying.'

After picking a snack off the table the son says 'These fishcakes are lovely.'

Dad replies 'Wash your hands son; they're f$cking donuts!'

LOL!!!! Chmok is this more to your liking?

Lots of Love and Kisses,
Lisa;-)

especially for you Lisa

Mother in Law to Daughter in law: 'Listen I don't mean to offend you but my grandson doesn't look like my son at all!!'

Daughter in Law to Mother in Law: 'Ma, sorry but I have a cookie between my legs and not a photocopy machine'

LOL!!!!!! My sweet Ezzra:-)

That's a good one, I like...

Lots of Love and Kisses,
Lisa;-)

I think that this should be the joke of the month.

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers : 'Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?'
The husband laughs and says: 'An Italian girl !!!'
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: 'So, honey, how was the trip?'
'Very good, thank you.' 'And, what happened to my present?'
'Which present?' She asked.
'The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!'
'Oh, that' she said
'Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for 9 months to see if it is a girl !!!'

Moral of the story: Don't tempt a woman, they are dangerously intelligent!

Olechuku entered his classroom on the first day of school.

'What's your name?' asked the teacher.
'Olechuku,' he replied.

'You're in South Africa now,' replied the teacher, 'So from now on you will be known as Sipho.'

Olechuku returned home after school. 'How was your day, Olechuku?' his mother asked.

'My name is not Olechuku. I'm in South Africa and now my name is Shipo.'

'Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage? Shame on you!' And his mother beat him.

Then she called his father, who beat him again.

The next day Olechuku returned to school. The teacher saw all of his bruises 'What happened to you, Sipho?' she asked.
'Well ma'am, shortly after becoming a South African, I was attacked by two Nigerians

Question: What has four wheels and flies?
Answer: A GARBAGE TRUCK!