Husband says to wife: 'Your bum looks like a braai stand'.

Wife gets offended and goes to sleep.

At night the husband politely asks: 'Sweetie, don't you feel like
making love?

Wife says: 'Do you expect me to light the braai stand just for a
small piece of sausage

Three men were drunk and they stopped a taxi.....the taxi driver figured that they were not in their right minds......so, he just switched on the engine and switched it off and told them : 'we have arrived'......The first man gave him money.....the second one thanked him.....but the third one....he slapped the taxi driver.....The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them would have realized that the car didn't move an inch.....So, he asked the third man : 'what was that for?'**the third man replied : 'control your speed next time .....you almost killed us.....

‹Two whales, a male and a female, were swimming side by side in the

ocean.

Suddenly, the male whale spots a ship in the distance. He recognizes it

as

the whaling ship that killed his father. Filled with anger, he says to

his

female companion, 'That's the ship that killed my father! Let's

swim

closer!' When they were close enough, the male said, 'Why don't

we swim

under the ship and blow air through our blow holes and break the ship

into a

million pieces? That will be sweet revenge.' And the female agreed to

this.

So they each took a deep breath of air, swam under the ship, and blew

enormous amounts of air under the ship. The ship flew into the air and

crashed back to the sea and broke into a million pieces. The pair of

whales

started to swim off when they realized that the sailors were not dead,

but

clinging to pieces of wood and floating in the ocean. The male whale was

furious and said to the female whale, 'They're still alive, but

I've got

another

idea. Let's swim around and gulp up all the sailors!' That's

when the

female stopped swimming, looked at the male and said, 'Oh no... I agreed

to

the blow j0b but I'm NOT swallowing the seamen.'

Sex-Insurance:
Recent studies have shown increasing demand of people not only seeking life insurance, but more specifically Sex-Insurance.

The insurance companies have formulated the following options:
Option 1:
If you sleep with your wife
- LEGAL & GENERAL

Option 2:
If you sleep with your wife in your car
- AUTO &GENERAL

Option 3:
If you sleep with someone else's wife:
- MUTUAL & FEDERAL

Option 4:
Sleeping with your mother-in-law
- OLD MUTUAL

Option 5:
If you sleep with a Muslim-girl
- SANLAM

Option 6:
Sleeping with more than one person at the same time
- PRESTASIE MULTIPLEX

Option 7:
Taking advantage of the person you sleep with
- LIBERTY LIFE

Option 8:
Man sleeping with another man
- HOLLARD

Option 9:
Having sex on the spur of the moment
- MOMENTUM

Option 10:
Sleeping with your ex-wife
- OUTSURANCE

Option 11:
Sleeping with a prostitute
- BUDGET

Option 12:
Having sex with someone you don't even know
- DISCOVERY

Option 13:
Having sex with a virgin.
-FIRST FOR WOMEN

Teacher: 'Children, tomorrow I would like you to give me an example of a development that is currently being built near your home and what are the advantages of this new development.'

At the end of the class, the teacher asks that all the little Girls stay behind for 5 minutes.

Teacher: 'Young ladies, I have received numerous complaints from your parents concerning Little Johnny's' crude remarks. It is very likely that for tomorrow he is going to say something dirty and that is why I am asking you all, to avoid any further problems, when he says anything that appears rude, Get up and leave the class room'
Everybody agreed to this plan.
Next day, teacher: 'Is everybody ready with their assignment? Go Ahead

Anita'
Anita: 'Near my home, a supermarket is being built. Now my mommy doesn't have to walk so far to get bread and milk.'

Teacher: 'Very good Anita! Yes Koosie!'
Koosie: 'Near my home, they are building a furniture factory. My Daddy is a carpenter and this permits him to work near home'
Teacher: 'Excellent, thank you Koosie!'

At this point, little Johnny's hand shoots up and the teacher asks:'Oh heavens, tell me Johnny what new development is being built near your home.' Little Johnny: 'Near my home, they are building a brothel'
As all the young ladies got up and proceeded to leave, Little Johnny says, 'Hey relax you little pr0stitutes, it hasn't opened yet!'

4 MEN IN A PRISON CELL,
A RAPIST
A MURDERER
A PSYCO
&Gay.

RAPIST SAYS, 'IF THERE WAS A CAT HERE I'D FUCK IT TILL IT DIE'

THE MURDERER SAYS 'ONCE YOUR DONE WITH IT, I'D TORTURE IT TO DEATH'

THE PSYCO 'OH YEAH & ONCE IT'S DEAD I'D FUCK IT TILL I DIE'

Gay IN THE CORNER VERY SOFTLY SAYS..

'MEOOW'

TRUE LOVE
I told her : 'I might not be rich, I have no money or villa or cars or companies like my friend John, but I love you and adore you.'
She looked at me with tears in her eyes and hugged me like there is no tomorrow and whispered in my ear... : 'If you love me, introduce me to John...

Hi Tysha,
Please send me your details on [Send Message]
I would be interested in getting more info about your services.
Thanks.

HI Tysha Please send me your details at [Send Message]
I have e-mailed you, and asked you for your services, but you never replied.
Regards
Kinky