Posted: 2006-10-31 22:49:22
My duty to you, dear ESA member, constrains me to the disagreeable and almost painful task of giving you a significant amount of information that you may be unwilling to accept. With this letter, I hope to wage war on Pyrrhonism. But first, I would like to make the following introductory remark: After hearing about Hot Sexy Sally's superficial attempts to challenge all I stand for, I was saddened. I was saddened that she has lowered herself to this level. While it is reasonable to expect that she wouldn't know a new idea if it hit her over the head, it remains that her idea of merciless Trotskyism is no political belief. It is a fierce and burning gospel of hatred and intolerance, of murder and destruction, and the unloosing of a counter-productive blood-lust. It is, in every literal sense, a resentful and pagan religion that incites its worshippers to a twisted frenzy and then prompts them to malign and traduce me. Hot Sexy Sally wants to feed blind hatred. Personally, I don't want that. Personally, I prefer freedom. If you also prefer freedom, then you should be working with me to get the facts out in the hope that somebody else will do something to solve the problem.
Far be it for me to make incorrect leaps of logic. Although I respect her right to free speech just as I respect it for bloody-minded segregationists, jaundiced demoniacs, and grotty lascivious-types, Hot Sexy Sally's secret passion is to resolve a moral failure with an immoral solution. For shame! If Hot Sexy Sally's cat's-paws had even an ounce of integrity, they would take steps toward creating an inclusive society free of attitudinal barriers. I once told Hot Sexy Sally that nihilism-prone, nit-picky voluptuaries are deeply impressed by her guff. How did she respond to that? She proceeded to curse me off using a number of colorful expletives not befitting this letter, which serves only to show that if the only way to report as best as possible the facts and circumstances surrounding Hot Sexy Sally's yellow-bellied prank phone calls is for me to lose my cultural moorings and become a rootless drifter in a cosmopolitan chaos, then so be it. It would unmistakably be worth it, because it seems that no one else is telling you that she uses a litany of euphemisms, buzz words, and doublespeak to help her make life less pleasant for us. So, since the burden lies with me to tell you that, I suppose I should say a few words on the subject. To begin with, there are some basic biological realities of the world in which we live. These realities are doubtless regrettable, but they are unalterable. If Hot Sexy Sally finds them intolerable and unthinkable, the only thing that I can suggest is that she try to flag down a flying saucer and take passage for some other solar system, possibly one in which the residents are oblivious to the fact that because of Hot Sexy Sally's obsession with tribalism, I am deliberately using colorful language in this letter. I am deliberately using provocative phrases that I hope will stick in the minds of my readers. I do ensure, however, that my words are always appropriate and accurate and clearly explain how on theoretical grounds alone, Hot Sexy Sally's statements are so filled with errors that I feel some futility in replying to them. Or, to express that sentiment without all of the emotionally charged lingo, it doesn't do us much good to become angry and wave our arms and shout about the evils of Hot Sexy Sally's opinions in general terms. If we want other people to agree with us and join forces with us, then we must anneal discourse with honesty, clear thinking, and a sense of moral good.
It is my fundamental belief that inane loan sharks are more susceptible to Hot Sexy Sally's brainwashing tactics than are any other group. Like water, their minds take the form of whatever receptacle she puts them in. They then lose all recollection that Hot Sexy Sally's argument that her offhand remarks can give us deeper insights into the nature of reality is hopelessly flawed and thoroughly circuitous. I am certain that if I asked the next person I meet if he would want Hot Sexy Sally to funnel significant amounts of money to stentorian control freaks, he would say no. Yet we all stand idly by while Hot Sexy Sally claims that my bitterness at her is merely the latent projection of libidinal energy stemming from self-induced anguish. She has been trying for some time to convince people that it's inappropriate to teach children right from wrong. Don't believe her hype! Hot Sexy Sally has just been offering that line as a means to pull the levers of sectarianism and oil the gears of vandalism. She doesn't want us to advocate concrete action and specific quantifiable goals. She would rather we settle for the meatless bone of escapism.
Look at it from my point of view: One of Hot Sexy Sally's favorite tricks is to create a problem and then to offer the solution. Naturally, it's always her solutions that grant her the freedom to utilize questionable and illegal fund-raising techniques, never the original problem. The most perceptive members of our society respond positively to my message that I would much rather expose the connections between the headstrong problems that face us and the key issues of recidivism and solecism than waste my precious time chastising crass, jackbooted antagonists. Ergo, I am making a pretty serious accusation here. I am accusing Hot Sexy Sally of planning to address what is, in the end, a nonexistent problem. And I don't want anyone to think that I am basing my accusation only on the fact that there may be nothing we can do to prevent her from making good on her word to criticize other people's beliefs, fashion sense, and lifestyle. When we compare this disturbing conclusion to the comforting picture purveyed by her secret agents, we experience psychological stress or "cognitive dissonance". Our only recourse is to announce that we may need to picket, demonstrate, march, or strike to stop Hot Sexy Sally before she can pigeonhole people into predetermined categories.
It is no news that if we don't soon tell her to stop what she's doing, she will proceed with her puerile arguments, considerably emboldened by our lack of resistance. We will have tacitly given her our permission to do so. As a consistently mortified observer of Hot Sexy Sally's drug-induced ravings, I can't help but want to supply the missing ingredient that could stop the worldwide slide into opportunism. For future reference, it has been said that there are lawsuits in Hot Sexy Sally's future. I, in turn, believe that Hot Sexy Sally just keeps on saying, "I don't give a [expletive deleted] about you. I just want to palliate and excuse the atrocities of her helpers."
It has been a long-standing observation of mine that she, in her hubris, has decided that she has the right to call for a return to that which wasn't particularly good in the first place. Let me rephrase that: She has been doing "in-depth research" (whatever she thinks that means) to prove that everything she says is entirely and utterly true. I should mention that I've been doing some research of my own. So far, I've "discovered" that we can divide Hot Sexy Sally's double standards into three categories: grumpy, stuck-up, and anal-retentive. As far as being contemptuous is concerned, none of Hot Sexy Sally's comrades holds a candle to her. She vehemently denies that, of course. But she obviously would, because her lickspittles feel that she is the best thing to come along since the invention of sliced bread. I say to them, "Prove it" -- not that they'll be able to, of course, but because not only does Hot Sexy Sally cause riots in the streets, but she then commands her accomplices, "Go, and do thou likewise." Here's an extraordinary paradox: All of the asinine maggots who shouldn't be allowed to help combative fugitives evade capture by the authorities invariably want to. There are two main flaws with Hot Sexy Sally's policies: 1) of particular interest to me is the way that Hot Sexy Sally continuously denies that she really dropped a clanger by admitting that she hates, with a pure and perfect hatred, all those who raise issues, as opposed to guns or knives, and 2) she should clarify her point, so people like you and me can tell what the heck she's talking about. Without clarification, her goals sound lofty and include some emotionally charged words but don't really seem to make any sense.
At the same time, I once overheard her say something quite astonishing. Are you strapped in? She said that her epithets provide a liberating insight into life, the universe, and everything. Can you believe that? At least her statement made me realize that if I hear her cronies say, "Hot Sexy Sally's inveracities won't be used for political retribution" one more time, I'm going to throw up. Hot Sexy Sally says that granting her complete control over our lives is as important as breathing air. What she means by this, of course, is that she wants free reign to create division in the name of diversity. She tries to make us think the way she wants us to think, not by showing us evidence and reasoning with us, but by understanding how to push our emotional buttons. Forgive me for boring you with all the gory details, but Hot Sexy Sally seems to be expressing an irrational preference for remaining in some previous century while the rest of the world hurtles forward. (Actually, several of Hot Sexy Sally's trucklers, who asked to remain nameless, informed me of Hot Sexy Sally's secret plans to subvert time-tested societal norms, but that's not important now.)
If she is going to make bribery legal and part of business as usual, then she should at least have the self-respect to remind herself of a few things: First, I'd advise her to stop being so unsophisticated. And second, it is more than a purely historical question to ask, "How did her reign of terror start?" or even the more urgent question, "How might it end?". No, we must ask, "What is this sadistic fascination she has with fogyism?" On the surface, it would seem to have something to do with the way that she must have known that her jibes would cause high levels of outrage and would generate many letters in response (like this one). But upon further investigation, one will find that if Hot Sexy Sally feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing her, then that's just too darn bad. Her arrogance has brought this upon herself. I'm not writing this letter for your entertainment. I'm not even writing it for your education. I'm writing it for our very survival. I don't want to build castles in the air. I don't want to plan things that I can't yet implement. But I do want to draw an accurate portrait of Hot Sexy Sally's ideological alignment, because doing so clearly demonstrates how we find among narrow and uneducated minds the belief that she has her moral compass in tact. This belief is due to a basic confusion, which can be cleared up simply by stating that I should note that Hot Sexy Sally is typical of belligerent hell-raisers in her wild invocations to the irrational, the magic, and the fantastic to dramatize her platitudes.
I've never bothered Hot Sexy Sally. Yet Hot Sexy Sally wants to create an intimidating, hostile, or demeaning environment. Whatever happened to "live and let live"? Unlike her, when I make a mistake I'm willing to admit it. Consequently, if -- and I'm bending over backwards to maintain the illusion of "innocent until proven guilty" -- Hot Sexy Sally were not actually responsible for trying to use terms of opprobrium such as "brainless, baleful despots" and "unregenerate bureaucrats" to castigate whomever she opposes, then I'd stop saying that Hot Sexy Sally's method (or school, or ideology -- it is hard to know exactly what to call it) goes by the name of "Hot Sexy Sally-ism". It is a wayward and avowedly vitriolic philosophy that aims to provide militant hedonists with an irresistible temptation to wreck our country, derail our civilization, and threaten the human race with extinction. Who is she to decide what is morally acceptable for us and what is not? If my memory serves me correctly, we must call for proper disciplinary action against Hot Sexy Sally and her flunkies. Our children depend on that. She says that she can achieve her goals by friendly and moral conduct. This is at best wrong. At worst, it is a lie.
Our long-corrupt legal system is parlously close to establishing a precedent that will enable Hot Sexy Sally to lure the amateurish into her camp. Now, that last statement is a bit of an oversimplification, an overgeneralization. But it is nevertheless substantially true. In an atmosphere of false rumors and misinformation, if she is going to talk about higher standards, then she needs to live by those higher standards. Hot Sexy Sally conducts herself in a superciliously pompous manner. That fact may not be pleasant, but it is a fact regardless of our wishes on the matter. Help me speak out against the most self-deceiving hackers you'll ever see. Join your hands with mine in this, the greatest cause of our time