Name: Amber

City: Johannesburg

Area: Randburg

Last Visit: June 2015

Full Profile: [View Amber's Full Profile]

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DISCLAIMER: Take this review for what it is and remember that it is an accurate account of my session and is based on facts (as listed below) of what I encountered.

PRELUDE: I have a business client that I particularly loathe visiting as it is normally drawn out and he always has the silliest of complaints I need to attend to. It invariably leads to a useless call out and an absolute waste of my time…this day though was different. I have not been called there since before I started punting, and because I knew it will be an in out job…I was thinking of my own type of in out job in the area!! I whip out my phone, open the purple site and start trolling. As I look, this absolute stunner comes up and I can’t wait to get going there. Call her up and man hot voice and phone manner and I am like yes please! She says she works out of the Elysium premises, although you contact her directly (red flag #1 H0neySuck3r!!). So I’m like ok she’s got her own room, so maybe the reviews about Elysium surely were not about her per say…also I am close and would enjoy a good time. So off I go…

ARRIVAL: I am greeted in the parking lot by an absolute stunner…elegant white number, ooohhh the heels are so sexy, make up well done and those legs…instant semi…this is going to be fun. I’m ushered inside and have to pay upfront to Elysium receptionist, I find this strange because 1) She said on phone that the fee goes to her 2) I pay more than the agreed upon fee …oh well it’s not much more and I really want this girl…so what the heck…right? (red flag #2). Off to the room, good size, relatively clean and heater too. The shower area is clean, but there is a door to an adjoining room so privacy is an issue. Shower is decent, as is the towels, some are bit old but clean nonetheless. Step out and she comes into room with drinks (SoCo and 2 small lemonades) and proceeds to tell me I will pay for it later (red flag #3). At this point I put on a timer on my phone as I am getting that uneasy feeling (I never do this btw).

IS IT TIME YET?: So I am very suspect of it all now and she is stalling…saying I must sit on the couch and relax…finish my drink…get comfortable…we already 20mins in (I know I should have bailed…damn hindsight!). Finally onto the massage table and I am promised the massage of a lifetime and that I WILL leave satisfied…aannnd I am like a kid in a candy store again. So I get on my stomach, she says relax, undresses and I am now bouncing off the walls as those succulent tits are release and she then proceeds to… light a ciggie and take a few drags (red flag #4)…Then we start and it was more like I was being probed by aliens…pulling my head into position…grabbing my arms and pulling at them…pours hot oil over me and puts good pressure on me (but not massaging). So this goes on for about 15mins and in between she sneaks off and smokes!! I am flipped over and I am told that I will now get the best GFE EVER...but I am still like where is this legendary massage I was promised. Then comes the straw that broke the camel’s back…she proceeds to do an obviously rehearsed routine of “seduction” which ended up feeling very fake and robotic…cold almost. It was average compared to what I am used to…very impersonal and we made no connection at all. No kissing or touching of boobs allowed, licked my tip as if it is the most disgusting thing and kept walking around the table running her fingers over me. I never touched her snatch at all, but as she started pumping my cock faster and faster, she apparently came because she gave an almighty roar…and I shot the weakest load ever. Then she grabs a towel to throw over my cock, puts one over my face and covers me from head (hair too) to toes in baby powder without asking if I want it (the missus smells the baby powder so I always decline it). Takes a drag and off to the shower she goes…comes out and says I can take a long shower to relax…I am fed up and unsatisfied and take a short one, get dressed and when I check the timer, there are 15 mins left (FML)…So here comes the ultimate kick in the balls…I now have to pay her R500 above the R550 I paid at reception because she gave me a GFE according to her (no penetration or BJ)…and let’s not forget the R80 for the drinks [I hate quoting rates in my review but let the total sink in].

CONCLUSION: Avoid avoid avoid!! There is something missing about the service at this place and I can tell you now the vibe I get from Elysium is unlike any other I have had, and leaves one feeling uneasy. Best not to waste your time or money…but if you brave like me go have a look and rant about it afterward, by all means you welcome to…

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Ratings:

Face: 5/5
Body: 4/5
Personality: 3/5
Telephone Manner: 4/5
Venue Cleanliness: 4/5
Personal Cleanliness: 4/5
Privacy: 3/5
Service: 3/5
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Will you return? No
Advertiser looked like the Photos? Yes
Secure Parking? Yes

PS: To easily submit a review like this, go to the Advertiser's page and click "Rate this Advertiser" (if you are a Gold Member) or "Review this Advertiser" (if you are a Free Member)

I agree fully.

Saw Cathy a real stunner There.
The extras were crazy -R400 for BJ and R800 for FH.
That over and above R500 odd for the so called massage.
Service very very mechanical no intimacy at all.

Saw Robin there awhile ago -slightly better but her service also started going downhill.

At night the place is a free for all with many of the girls high or pissed.

Unless drastic changes happen soon I'm avoiding this place big time