A man was sitting alone in a restaurant, when he saw a beautiful woman at another table. He sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent him a note, "I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket." He wrote back, "Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone."

On 2019-05-28 09:46:34 Miss Hazel said:
A man was sitting alone in a restaurant, when he saw a beautiful woman at another table. He sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent him a note, "I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket." He wrote back, "Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone."

Lmao. You made my day

LMAO .. nice one Miss Hazel

LMAO...Good One!

LOL...now why can't i think of witty responses like that when i really need them

I would have changed my statement " ohh no I meant to say seven+++

The other day I was in an empty pub having a quiet beer by myself.
The door opened and in walked the most stunning woman I've ever laid eyes on. 5'11'' tall, beautiful blue eyes, silky blonde hair, an hourglass figure.
Barely covered by a tiny mini skirt and a flimsy cotton top. I could see she was not wearing a bra and her incredibly firm breasts were on show.
After watching her walk in I turned back to my beer. No sooner had I taken a sip when I turn to see her pulling another bar stool up close to me and sat down. She said 'Hi', and I said 'Hi' in return. She asked how I was and took my hand and placed it on her perfect inner thigh, rubbing it up and down.
'So, does that make you feel good ?' she asked. 'I'll bet you feel good,' she continued. 'In fact, I'll bet you've never felt this good before.'
'Well, I have,' I corrected her. 'You see, when I was 17, I was picked to play for the school 1st. XV in the National School Finals in front of a crowd of about 3000 and I felt really good.'
I immediately felt a bit pathetic saying that and I thought she would get up and go. But she took my hand off her thigh and put it up the front of her top. Her nipple pushed into my palm as she massaged my hand into her pert, perfect breast.
'How do you feel now,' she purred.
'OK' I replied.
Again, she said, 'I'll bet you do. In fact, I'll bet you've never felt THIS good before!'
Unbelievably I heard myself saying 'Well, actually I have. In that game, we were down by six points with about 20 seconds left in the match. The Opposition kicked the ball deep into our half of the field, where I caught it. I ran up field, side-stepping past the first few defenders, handed off a couple of would-be tacklers, burst through a few forwards, chipped over their fullback, regathered and scored a try right under the posts with about 2 or 3 seconds 'til full time. We were still behind by one point, but I had a simple kick at goal to win the match."
"Ahhh...." she growled between clenched teeth, more than a bit miffed, pulled my hand from under her top and thrust it down the front of her skirt. My fingers immediately met what felt like a wisp of soft cotton , and she was wet !
She whispered, 'Well tell me this, Mr. Rugby Man: Have you ever felt such a perfect poes?'
'I certainly have,' I answered, 'I missed the kick.'

Excellent one Crave .. lol !!!

What a winner.....love it

On 2019-05-28 10:03:14 Crave said:


'I certainly have,' I answered, 'I missed the kick.'

Crave better you wont miss the conversion this time , when you see my goal post .