Saturday morning and I'm as horny as all fuck. I have time on my hands, and a recent profile photo set on our local escort site keeps flashing through my mind. Clear unblemished skin as white as snow, tiny tits with pointy marshmallow-pink nipples, smooth thighs. Her body is thick but not too thick and long dark hair cascades down her shoulders. Skimpy red lingerie. I can't see her face, but at least she only has one chin, and her fingers are not wrinkled like old parsnips. Perhaps she really is the advertised age of 22.

(But I always add 10 more just to be safe).

Mmm, Yummy, very Yummy!

Only problem is my Golden Rules.

In thirteen years of punting on the lower South Coast, I have set myself some hard and fast guidelines, and I will share them here in order to assist any would be visitors to our local ladies. (no offence, just in my learned opinion)

All white working girls on the Lower South Coast are crap! Indian working girls are even crapper. The coloured ladies have been either sublime...some of the best ever...or really crap. But none as crap as the white and indian girls. Oriental girls are either non existent or crap.

The safest bet here are the black girls. Generally pretty good, especially when primed with the offer of a nice tip, and always much improved after a second or third visit. The best ones are those who live here but who work in Durban. The trick is to get to know who they are....and when they are home here on a 'break'.

There was a decent Shemale here.

Once.

She was really excellent and made me cum in gallons.

And so, because I'm really horny, and because of those alluring photos on that shifty website, I want to break one of my own Golden Rules, and visit a white South Coast working girl.

I call her up.

Six, seven rings. She answers. Bored, lackadaisical, about as motivated as a vendor tasked with selling blue t-shirts at an ANC rally. Loud gravelly woman's voice in the background and I can almost smell the cigarette smoke and cheap alcohol over the phone.

But, oh that smooth snow white skin and those tiny rose tipped breasts. That flat stomach and those thick strong thighs. The lingerie. That dark hair and the single chin.

I make the booking for 2 hours time!

I take a leisuredly drive. I always like to peruse the venue first. If its got broken down cars, long weeds and faded washing hanging in the front yard, I'll generally give it a skip.

Ditto if its next door to the local Police Station.

Bleep, Bleep, Bleep!

My phone.

Three seperate wattsapped selfies.

Its Lindt Girl, she with the dark creamy Lindt chocolate skin.

Htf does she know?

Lindt girl laying on her back atop clean white sheets. Tiny black silk panties and a skimpy bra. Sleek chocolate skin. Thighs parted, belly taught, breasts and hard black nipples fighting their way out from under the bra. Red lips, a wanton smile and those dark flashing inviting all-knowing eyes.

I pull over immediately and cancel with Snow Girl.

Lindt Girl wins again, and an hour later my tongue is burrowed deep in the slick syrupy heat between her silky polished thighs. Some of the best sex I have ever had, Lindt Girl knows exactly how to push all of my buttons.


Perhaps I should follow my own Golden Rules in future.