Whilst I have some time, I thought I would lay this out into the purple world as its been bugging me.
I have been with 3 new ladies I newly met since mid 2017, and have seen them regularly, have great sessions when we meet.
Since Dec2017, I have had a few requests for funding, example for a deposit on a new place for her kids etc, for Christmas lunch for her kids, for school fees, for medical issues for the kids etc etc. I have calculated my spend to be approx. R30k to date and still receive requests for more cash. The sessions are paid for and tipped - average spend a session is R1500. This is over and above the R30k given. I have gone to the extent of assisting getting one of the ladies teenager a perm job. Now, I am somewhat of a softy when it comes to kids etc etc. I know many ladies fall into difficult times and this world can be a huge struggle to survive, and I do feel for them as they do provide a fulfilment in my missing links in life...but I am not into being a sugar daddy or a blesser in any way or form in my view. There has to be a limit at some point right?. How do I tell the ladies in a nice, amicable way this has to end - without losing out on seeing them for my sessions...or should I move on from them? Does any other punter have/had a similar experience.

Been there and my advice is don't be an ATM for anyone . Even if they promise to pay you back because they don't !

Yeah...exactly this..they have promised to pay me back...look they have also indicated I should just pay the house fee etc etc and take it off the sessions...which I refuse to do, not cos I want the loaned/lent out money back differently but I just feel for the ladies on the day of the session.
Yeah...guess going to have to take a hard line here and not been an ATM, even if this means moving on.

I'm so disappointed to read about this:( I know people are struggling financially, but to take advantage of someone is disgusting! To take a paying client that is generous enough to tip as well and still take him for a ride (and then it's not even the enjoyable ride where he gets something out of it ;)) is sickening! Yes, kids can be expensive, but that is why there are clinics etc. that one can go to for medical help if you can't afford a doctor...... schools give bursaries.... and so we can continue....
The line is where you've paid for your session...... and a tip is always a welcome bonus but you shouldn't even feel pressured to do that in a session!
You need to be straight forward in telling them as beating around the bush might not bring the message across.... you do say you are a softy so this will be very difficult for you to do.... then you need to sit back and decide if you are ready to explore other options and move on from these girls? I really hope you've learnt a lesson from this experience and I'm sorry it was such an expensive leason. Don't change from being a good person, just be nice in different ways ;)

Xxxx

Yip! Got the T-Shirt for this one too! Just be straight and honest. I have a soft spot for kids, hate to see them struggle because of their parents' bad decisions. If you want to help with school fees, pay it directly to the school..... (just an example)


You are just being used because you are kind-hearted......

Dont stop being kind because of this situation, just stop helping this particular lady.......

Best of luck!

Tipping in the session and going as regularly as you have... even if you stop being an atm, I guarantee she will still be happy to see you for sessions. Just say you have to put money towards a business venture. All the best. Come visit me and you can tip me in chocolate lol

They sitting having a laugh singing " let the Gudtyms roll"

Run..... no matter what it will never end unless you terminate ... they figured how to milk you and they would via your soft side ....
How many freebies did you get from them... non ...
Run..

On 2018-03-18 16:11:21 GudTyms said:
How do I tell the ladies in a nice, amicable way this has to end - without losing out on seeing them for my sessions...or should I move on from them?

That's an easy question to answer. Don't validate their behaviour. Move on.

I fully agree. After a mention that loans is out of the question, she'll get over it and see you again. She just noticed the soft spot, and ran with it for as long as it last. Some people are like that.
I would recommend some browsing around, for a new regular. That one surely got issues! ... Best to keep in mind, this is business to the ladies, they are not, and never would be your family. All of them, at some point, would just write you off, with out blinking an eye... Pay their asking rate, enjoy your time, and go... Tips are for those peeps that brings your burgers at Spur.