There are so many thoughts running through my mind....and even though some may think my post is linked to the latest drama on the forum today....let me say this from the start...my words have NOTHING to do with that. I've not been on this site for as long as many of you, ladies and gents, and I've had my fair share of depression and negativity, especially this year. Six months ago I was ready to take my own life because I couldn't cope with the scene playing over and over in my mind of watching my dearest die in front of my eyes and the professional I'd taken her to for help wasn't able to save her life....I still blame myself and am angry because a human decided to plant poison not meant for us....but hey that's how life is....she's gone....I will never see her or hold her again and somehow I have to make my way through this twisted life with a smile on my face even though my heart is screaming in pain every single day. Then to be harassed by the reason the poison was planted in the first place...by her dogs shitting and pissing in my garden every other day and when I ask her to clean up she tells me to "f off". Her friend the landlord does nothing to protect me the tenant and I'm still to this day even though I moved out 3 months ago waiting for my deposit to be paid back even though there was no damage or default on my rent. This is just the tip of the iceberg of what I've had to endure the past six months and I'm sure every single person has their own tale of woe to tell. The reason I'm posting this today is because no matter what hardships we endure on a daily basis we all have a choice every single moment....to either allow life and it's circumstances to bury us in depression and sadness and bitterness.....or to affirm our daily/moment by moment promise to ourselves to make our lives as positive and joyful as possible. When i read posts from people here who are doing their best to bring some light and laughter and good memories to the rest of us and we in turn share our own stories of goodness and happiness only to be taken down by those who appear intent on spreading negativity and bitterness I wonder why I carry on doing my best to find whatever joy I can in every day....this life is so very tough and the decisions our leaders have made and continue to make have ensured life in this country gets tougher and more stressful...yes we are ALL entitled to our own opinions and yes please express how you feel...yet WHY when the rest of us are doing our best to navigate this treacherous path called life the best way we can, with as much happiness and joy we can muster, do you insist on trying to bring us down to your level of anger and bitterness....I'm not sure what reinforces you...perhaps making sure the rest of us are as angry and bitter as you are..As the saying goes.....misery loves company.....I guess the only thing for me to do is not read or engage in the forum anymore or alternatively see the bitterness/anger for what it is and not let it get to me. Because that is a conscious choice too. While I'm baring my soul....SkyBlue I must deeply apologise....you came to see me a few days after what I described above happened and I cannot let go of the fact that I truly was in the worst space I've ever been...mentally emotionally physically....and I did not give you my best. I'm so very sorry! Yet you were and continue to be a gentleman and so very understanding! I cannot express my full gratitude to you! Thank you to the people of the purple world who do their best to lighten heavy days with humorous posts....keep doing what you've been doing! You are a ray of light shining through heavy dark clouds! May you all have a safe festive season and may your days and nights be filled with more light and laughter than you can handle! Blessings in abundance xxx

Didn't read. May try again if it gets edited into more than one paragraph.

Bless you Jewel and may the year ahead be a much better one for you. You are an inspiration to many of us. Xx

On 2017-12-13 14:25:04 aulay_domnall said:
Didn't read. May try again if it gets edited into more than one paragraph.

Then it's not meant for you....

On 2017-12-13 14:29:03 markymarky said:
Bless you Jewel and may the year ahead be a much better one for you. You are an inspiration to many of us. Xx

Markymarky thank you from the deepest part of my heart....you are a dear man....xxx

Jewel, imo we are never given a load that is too heavy to carry, even though it will cause us pain and make us stumble over the many boulders in the road, because when we do finally reach our individual predetermined destinations, the deeply etched scars are testament to our rebirth.

Imo people without scars are yet to evolve...

Imo without pain, there cannot be joy, without loss, there cannot be gain, without the negative, there cannot be the positive,
without ugliness, beauty cannot exist...and so on.

I guess what I am trying to say, is that you are NOT responsible for the actions of others, therefore should not blame yourself for what transpired. Ultimately we as human beings have free will and we can choose how we act and react to negative people and situations - all the negative stuff like loss, pain and so on are placed in our lives, to teach us appreciation for the positive stuff and to teach us to become better human beings.

Have faith, be accepting and with time you will see the amazing treasure hidden in the darkness of your pain.

Wishing you all of the best on your journey of rebirth!

EDIT:
Wrt to negativity on the forum, let it be like water off a ducks back...we can choose to allow it to affect us on a person level or not and we can choose to react to it or not. Most of the people in this purple world are under a lot of strain, emotionally and/or financially and whilst some cope by trying to stay positive and joke around, others cope by giving life to their frustrations with anger or negativity. Yes negativity is not nice, but it can create balance and can teach us the invaluable lesson of tolerance.

On 2017-12-13 15:11:49 Sibyl said:

Imo without pain, there cannot be joy, without loss, there cannot be gain, without the negative, there cannot be the positive,
without ugliness, beauty cannot exist...and so on.

Thank you Sibyl, yes that is duality, the pendulum swinging both ways....I'm still working on riding the pendulum and not being the pendulum! I thank you for your wise words reminding me of lessons learned before....but sadly forgotten in the craziness of daily life.


I guess what I am trying to say, is that you are NOT responsible for the actions of others, therefore should not blame yourself for what transpired.

I think I will always blame myself for not taking quick enough action....For not knowing it was poison and not just a virus because of information I was not given until after she was gone. I appreciate your supportive words....I guess it's just that time of the year when we gather our family around us...This will be the first one without her and the pain is deep....and the majority of my human family are overseas...so yeah...life goes on....

Ultimately we as human beings have free will and we can choose how we act and react to negative people and situations - all the negative stuff like loss, pain and so on are placed in our lives, to teach us appreciation for the positive stuff and to teach us to become better human beings.

You are SPOT on! Thank you for reminding me of this valuable lesson!

Have faith, be accepting and with time you will see the amazing treasure hidden in the darkness of your pain.

Wishing you all of the best on your journey of rebirth!

Thank you for taking time to share this with me dear lady. An abundance of gratitude! Xxx

Wow jewel. So true what u say above. Just hang in there and remember all experiences in the long run make us become better people stronger down the line even if its painful at that stage.

@ Jewel life is about taking the good with the bad it is what defines us as people. We all have highs and lows at sometime or another in our lives it's part of being human.

You can not blame yourself that is the creators decision who dies and who stays blaming yourself will not change a thing.

The key to life is Change what you can. Accept what you can't everything in life happens for a reason and we can all choose how we are going to react to a situation. Don't judge others as we are all held accountable for our own actions and it is not our place to judge.

Strongs and I wish you all the best.

On 2017-12-13 14:25:04 aulay_domnall said:
Didn't read. May try again if it gets edited into more than one paragraph.

simple then move on.