In Honour of Stupid People
(Like some people I know)
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On Pick n' Pay's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
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On Click's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
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On a Woolworth's Bread Pudding
"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
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On a Click's hair dryer - Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
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On a bag of Simba Chips --
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary!
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
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On a bar of Dove soap -
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)
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On some Checkers frozen dinners -
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(please note that it's just a suggestion.)
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On the packaging of a Rowenta iron -
"Don't iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)
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On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(..I'm taking this because???....)
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On some brands of Christmas lights of Eastern origin:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)
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On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, please help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
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Instructions on a SA Airways packet of peanuts -
[1] Open packet;
[2] Eat nuts.
(Step 3: say what?)
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On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(Don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
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On a German chainsaw ..
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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On Woolworth's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom)
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

Ha Ha Ha

Whahahahaha!!! Oh my word! I'll definitely be reading product labels a lot more now!

lol @Orpheus your eyes are too wide lol high five dude......

Brilliant, Orpheus! Since this is an adult site, I think this example is appropriate (from the Darwin Awards):

(May 2014, England) In the interest of public safety, Darwin Awards editors are releasing this ribald event to the public to serve as a warning to adventurous amorous males. The event was brought to our attention by an eyewitness, who provided additional details (withheld for privacy reasons) to confirm it.

"Being part of emergency services, firemen are called upon to get people out of unlikely situations. We were summoned to the A&E Department of a central London hospital to assist in removing a "thing ring." With our ring cutters at the ready, we were presented with the patient, his 'meat and two veg' extremely swollen and such a dark purple that they were almost blackened. The whole sorry mess was encircled by a thick titanium ring. Normally the procedure to remove a thing ring is a five-minute affair, but our cutters could not make a mark on the titanium! After expending a number of cutter blades we had to concede defeat.

"The man in question had put himself into this situation three days prior to committing himself to A&E, delaying the hospital visit due to embarrassment and a vain hope that it would resolve itself in time. Unfortunately this error in judgement cost him dearly. The wonderful doctors can often drain blood and remove the ring the way it went on--yet by the time he sought help, and our tools had been defeated, his jewels was past saving. Full castration--the result of the man's own actions and decisions--make this eunuch a self-selected nominee for a living Darwin Award.

Lol too funny, great thread Orpheus!

Lol you made my day

Aw thanks my darlings. Glad I could make your day.