Is that a gun gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money CAN buy

When I'm good, I'm very good... but when I'm bad... oh boy! I'm so much better

My wife is a Sex object. Every time I ask for Sex, she objects.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

A terrible thing happened to me last night again... Absolutely nothing!

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited The Statue of Liberty.

Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure.

I'm glad I'm not bisexual... I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as woman.

If Sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to?

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says "Your only interested in one thing" and you can't remember what it was.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading Sex manuals without the software.

Sex: the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous and the expense damnable.