To PeterBuck (my superior at Mi6)


Sir, I am pleased to report that my visit to the Kremlin was most successful. Octopussy duly met me there and afforded me the best that Russian hospitality has to offer, even better than that accorded to monarchs. She even went as far as to arrange that president Vladimir Putin be away, at a health spar. She's so perceptive, my Octopussy. Oops, endearing references are inappropriate in a report. I humbly apologise. Anyway, I digress again, as usual. She had realised, during my engagement with her, prior to our face to face meeting, that President Putin and I don’t see eye to eye on several issues. Furthermore, she was aware of my fear for and discomfort with him. In the interest of furthering diplomatic ties, she arranged for his “indisposition” for the duration of my visit.

What will be needed, are many more visits by me. I request that I, together with Octopussy of course, be afforded the discretion to decide on the frequency, timing and duration of these future visits.

Also, my licence to kill will not be necessary. It may remain revoked for these missions. In fact, I did not take my Walter PPK with me to the Kremlin and I don’t intend to, for any of my future visits.


Yours sincerely
Your operative
Mr Bond

Aaaah Mr. Bond...

How nicely put.

I love your...."On a need to know basis" policy.

Over and out.

Xxxx!!!!!!!

My dear Octopussy

There are other things that are for YOUR eyes only.

xxxx

...*like*...

Dear Mr Bond,

On the subject of Mr Putin - here's a Putin joke specially for you, as heard from a Russian:

I switch on the TV, it's Putin.
I switch on the Radio, it's Putin.
I open the newspaper, it's Putin.
I go to the bookstore, it's Putin.
I surf the internet, it's Putin.
I decide not to watch the porn.

Dear Mr Bond

Thank you for your report. It is a little overdue, but then again I know that paperwork is not your strong point. Basic fieldwork is your area of expertise.

"What will be needed, are many more visits by me. I request that I, together with Octopussy of course, be afforded the discretion to decide on the frequency, timing and duration of these future visits."

Your official request is hereby sanctioned and you are free to engage with the "enemy" as many times and as intimately as circumstances allow. I will also understand if your reports are not as detailed as to specifics, some discretion will be allowed in your reporting.

A good idea to have kept the Walther at home. But then you were issued with a formidable weapon which you have license to use.....

A debriefing session however will be needed where you can report verbally your findings.

For now, go forth .

For Queen and England !!!

Dear PeterBuck


Thank you sir. I will not let you, queen or country down.

One more thing sir. Octopussy is not the "enemy". I will explain in my verbal report.