Q: If a dove is the "bird of peace" then what's the bird of "true love"? A: The swallow.

Q: What does it mean when your boyfriend is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Three words to ruin a man's ego...? A: "Is it in?"

Q: Whats 72? A: 69 with three people watching

Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.

How do I disable the auto correct function on my wife?

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Never get on one knee for a girl who won't get on two for you.

What's the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck.

Child's experience: if a mother is laughing at the fathers jokes, it means they have guests.

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

There are two theories about arguing with a woman. Neither of them work.

The secret of living well and longer is: eat half, walk double, laugh triple, and love without measure

happy1 ;)

Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup.
-
And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?!

I thought I'd tell you a good time travel joke -- but you didn't like it.

Important note from a car manual:

Backing rapidly at a tree significantly reduces your trunk space.

You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.