Fuck that shit, he thought to himself.

The pain tight around his heart, his mind insane with regret and wishing he had dealt with it in a different way.

What if he had just not lost his cool that last time?
What if he had not worked those long hours?
What if he had helped a little more with the kids?
What if he had been a little less stubborn when she had wanted them to go on that lengthy holiday?
What if he had not complained about the maxed bank cards?
What if he had just learnt to engage a little more with the in-laws?
What if he had not been that pushy when it came to wanting sex?
What if he had not accused her of never being happy about anything?

What if........

And as all the what ifs raced through his head, gazillion miles per second, his anger welled in him, his heart beat faster and harder, his fists clenched....

Was he that fucked up as a husband? Had he been that selfish and therefore to blame for their broken home?
Had he been so selfishly absorbed that he had missed the important things that were needed at home.
Had he been that detached from the reality of what was playing out right under his nose...

Or

Did he know there was no chance they would last but, preferred to not rattle the dragons cage and hope it lasted for as long as it could.

The price that he paid for keeping it going....?

A man cuckolded, a man a few millions poorer, a man lonely and beaten and hurting..a man regretful...a man that needed answers.


....but tonight he would pay for pussy and fuck the living daylights out of that young thing and then come home again and lose himself in sleep... hoping to sleep right through not missing the woman he had been married to for 17 years.

RB.